Do you know your partner’s love language? Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages® explores the way to connect with your partner on a richer, deeper level of intimacy than ever before. Our needs are different and understanding those intricacies can save years of heartache and misunderstanding. With Valentine’s Day approaching, knowing your partner’s love language can be the difference between the perfect gift and totally missing the mark. If you haven’t taken the quiz, it’s free on Gary’s site. Just click here.

Every person has a primary love language, but if you’re not sure which one fits your partner, you can’t go wrong with hitting all five languages in your celebration.

Words of Affirmation – saying I love you, complimenting and/or praising your partner.


  • Send a recorded voice message letting them know how much they mean to you.
  • Compliment them or let them know how much you appreciate them being there with you.
  • Make the day special by going out of your way to let them know how you feel about them.

Quality Time – time spent together whether you’re doing anything or not.


  • Take a spa vacation together. It lets you release your stress, but you also get to spend time together.
  • Unplug and spend the evening just being together.
  • Be a tourist in your town for a night. Go stay at a Bed and Breakfast and see the city through new eyes.

Receiving Gifts – meaningful tokens of appreciation and affection.


  • Gift certificates to your partner’s favorite massage therapist can be a wonderful gift.
  • Traditional Valentine’s gifts are always nice, but try to find something unique that your partner would appreciate even more.

Acts of Service – doing something for the other person.


  • Make dinner for your partner.
  • If your partner has this as their primary language of love, then figure out where they are the most stressed in their lives. Do something extra in that area to make them know how much you appreciate them.

Physical Touch – holding hands, kissing, pats on the back, massage, sex, etc.


  • Shoulder or neck massages are fantastic stress relievers.
  • Walk together and hold hands.
  • Think beyond the bedroom for this language of love. Look for things that could ensure you stay within touching distance.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure you do it with sincerity and affection. Showing your love in a way your partner understands will ensure a wonderful and successful Valentine’s Day.